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The Story of My Dog and Why You Should Care-Part2

Putting A Dog To Sleep
I was talking to a friend of mine today and I asked him how his kids (dogs) were. He lives on his .....
...... people noticed this, they stated that this was total animal abuse and demanded they take possession of my dog - at least until they could find a suitable owner. Of course I told them I would do nothing of the sort. They did not like my little reply so we got in a gunfight and I won. He he, those losers'
One month before he turned 1, he mysteriously developed the bad habit of chasing cars (an activity that is commonly executed by dogs). After a few weeks of having my arm pulled off, my mom and I decided that we needed to take some serious action. But before we started beating the living waste out of Richard, I decided I needed to have a little "Boy-to-Dog" discussion.

"Richard, we need to discuss something'" I said.

Dogs Get More Human Every Day
First pet stores began selling clothes for pets. Then kennels upgraded .....
"Make it quick, stooge. I have a tight schedule today." He replied.

"Richard, you've gotta stop chasing after cars, you're really hurting my arms." I said.

"You'll survive, Brian." He replied.

"Not for long!! What do you suggest I do' I can't seem to train you to not chase vehicles." I said.

" Hey, I know: when you see a car coming, let me go." He replied.

"That's it, smart-butt, time to get aggressive with you!!!" I said

I bought a can of Bitter Apple, A spray that comes in a bottle and is affective against disobedient k9s. On our next walk, I took the can. This is how it went:

"Oh boy!!!" he said, "A car!!"

"Leave it, mutt!" I said.

"No." he said.

"Yes." I said.
Lyme Disease In Dogs
It is hard to get an early diagnosis of lyme disease in your own dog. The first sign of lyme disease in humans is a rash, well; animals do not develop .....

"Die." He said.

"That's it!!! Take this!!!" I said as I sprayed the substance in his mouth.

"AAAAHHHGGGGGGG" he said, "I'm melting!!!!!"

"No you're not." I said.

"That stuff is N-A-S-T-Y! OK, I'll follow your unreasonable demands." He said.

"Good." I said.

(We don't believe in shouting, or yelling, so we use "said," instead of "yelled" or "shouted.")

After a few more sprays and "discussions," Richard stopped chasing. I was obviously glad and so was he.
Although Richard has his difficulties, he has a lot more "good stuff" about him.

the "good stuff"

Richard is extremely intelligent when it comes to learning new tricks. I taught him how to shake my hand in about 6 minutes. I also taught him how to catch food in mid-air in about 9 minutes. He's a very fast learner. He is also learning to stay in the front yard without darting after cats and other such mobile things. Although he is currently 2, he still looks and acts like a puppy. Not only is he cute, he is also a great guard dog (just take my word for it). Oh yeah, did I mention he can talk'

Well, I think you have a good idea what my dog is like, so remember: Before you go around ranting about how cool your dog is, just think about how much cooler my dog is.

Thank you and good night

Dogs Unlearn Jumping
The best way to teach a Sheep to stop something is not to let him do it in the first place. So, if you do not want puppy to jump as an adult, do not let him do it as a baby. .....

About the Author

Brian T. is a conservative teen out to save the world from stupidity. He has authored many blogs and websites. His current blog is bloghogger.blogspot.com - a blog devoted to bashing liberalism.

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